Merry Peak is an oddity in the Thriving Wastes. Vegetation is abundant and many swear that even the air tastes fresh and pure. Also odd is that Merry Peak is not a peak. It is a small community located on the top of a grassy hill and in the center of that community--positioned rather neatly between the Bank, the Church, the armory, and the market--stands an impossibly tall fruit tree bearing both blood-red apples and sun bright lemons. Children smile more here. Pursuits other than base survival--service, camaraderie, mercy, and the strange stuttered clockwork of love--are quite common. This would be regarded as the true haven of this blasted new world and Mission's Mercy knocked down a peg were it not for the fanatical violence and protectiveness of Merry Peak's residents. Quick bloody murder comes to all not bound for the bank.
In the community the bank is simply known as the bank. Out in the wastes it is known as either the Fruit Bank or The Place Of Shane When. Yes, money is put away there and interest accrues. Yes, currency bearing the Merry Peak mark is exchanged for gold. And yes, even loans are provided by the bank and enforced by a handful of dedicated mercenaries spread five hundred miles in either direction. But...
But the real reason most come to the bank is to speak to Shane When.
In an office at the back of the bank and furnished in pure walnut Shane When sits behind a desk in an elevated chair. He has one large but simple journal on the desk and when he writes in it things that matter happen.
Shane When is a dwarf. Shane When is often cursed as a "goddamn celestial" which entirely smacks of the truth. He wears simple clothing: child's pants, child's shirt, oversized leather jacket bleached and dyed gray. His eyes are dark green but have been known to change colors by firelight. Some say he is a fair man, he thinks himself fair...but he does not consider himself. And that is what the rest of the population believes about Shane When: he is not a man with connections. He is something "other." And when he speaks there is something in his voice that itches at the back of even his closest associates' necks: "I am very much like you. But I am not like you."
The man that enters the office with Death Sheriff in tow, is Bill Kellwood.
Shane When gestures for Bill and the Death Sheriff to take a seat across from him. Bill rests himself easily into the chair. The Death Sheriff bends his knees and stands up straight again.
Bill explains, "My apologies Mister When. Otis here, well he don't sit. Been standing past fifteen years far's I can tell."
Shane When interlaces his short fingers and taps his shorter thumbs, "He will sit. Or he will leave."
Bill Kellwood looks up at the Death Sheriff, "C'mon, man. Redouble your efforts and double over a bit."
The Death Sheriff plunks down into the chair, his legs extended stiff and outward like that of a barely articulated children's toy.
"Your knees, man. Give 'em a proper bend."
"That will be fine." Shane When opens his journal to a blank page and dips his pen into an inkwell, "Now what can I do for you, Mister Kellwood?"
Kellwood's gloved hand produces a cheroot from his breast pocket, "May I?"
"You may."
The cheroot is placed below Kellwood's mustache and into his invisible mouth. The Death Sheriff hisses and the cheroot is lit.
"It would appear, Mister When, that I am in one hell of a quandary. As you may or may not have heard, I have resolved myself to seek greener pastures as it were in the form of Mission's Mercy. Now-"
When stops writing, "I do not provide passage to Mission's Mercy. Surely you know of my treaty with the white city."
"I do indeed. And I have made arrangements for alternative means of entrance into that glittering stone cunt. My trouble is... Sir, though I am loathe to show my belly to any creature living or dead I fear that I must trade with you in absolute disclosure and transparency. You see Mister When, once I have lost something I am not able to find it. It is a dastardly curse put upon me the New Pinkertons, these same Pinkertons who not very long ago considered me of their blood and called me 'brother.' A foul thing to do. I have lost many pocket watches, Mister When, and even though I know precisely where I must have left them when I return to reclaim what is mine, though it may very well be right before me, I am afraid it is as invisible as this poor flesh."
Shane Wren writes all of this in his journal and does not stop as he asks, "Your manservant is of no assistance?"
"Unfortunately, no. It appears the curse extends to all in my vicinity."
"Darjanan's Geas of Want."
"Excuse me?"
"That is the true name of your curse should you ever seek to relieve yourself of it."
"Darjanan's Geas of Want," Kellwood repeats.
"But you are not here to seek remedy. You are here to find something."
Hesitatingly, Kellwood inhales deeply, the smoke like a distended liquid mushroom in his head and neck, "Let us say I were to seek remedy for this curse-"
"You haven't the currency. Nor will you ever. But take heart, Mister Kellwood. There are a solitary few in the wastes that have the knowledge to undo what grievously ails you. Alas, you neither have the currency for me to provide their names."
The Death Sheriff hisses, "Killlllll hhhhhim" and puts its hand on its holster.
Shane Wren folds his hands, "No."
And the Death Sheriff disintegrates into a pile of fine white dust where it once sat awkward.
Though his expression is invisible the short sharp breath of Bill Kellwood is enough to gauge just how very much impressed he is by Shane When's power. And how very much uncomfortable he has become.
"Mister Kellwood. What do you want. I need to hear you say it."
"Th-the location of Carrot Mandalay and Annalynne Tuckle."
"That you can afford. Two months of service in Merry Peak baking pies and pastries. Usual restrictions apply: no violence, no unkind words, no denial of assistance for any resident in need."
"A terrible weakness of mine is that my tendency towards speedy rage and speedier violence most foul is one that I simply must give into when it arises. I shall hear the alternative."
"And you know that once the alternative is given it must be accepted under pain of living damnation?"
"I do."
"Alternative payment is the head of the witch Johanna Stickwood. Payment shall be due on the last of fifteen dawns."
"But..."
"That will be all."
Shane When waves his hand and just like that...
...Bill Kellwood finds himself on a barstool in Copper Hovel.
"But that's my mama."
Shane When folds his journal shut. From a concealed door in the office emerge Annalynne Tuckle and Carrot Mandalay.
"I cannot thank you enough, good Shane."
Shane scratches his hairless chin, "You make me smile, Annalynne. That is a rare thing in this world."
"Mister Shane sir," grovels Carrot, "I would thank you but for fear of weeping at your kindness."
"You are swine. But you are both welcome in Merry Peak. You should try the apple pie before you leave. It is a fortune in flavor."
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